I would say that there is no way I could sum up what it feels like to be in limbo when you are a military wife. It is a part of your life, a part of who you are...we live in the constant waiting mode.....waiting on orders, waiting on sea schedules, waiting on houses, waiting, waiting, waiting......never knowing what you are doing next and not being able to count on anything. The military owns you and they dictate so much.
I think that nobody sums it up like Leah Killian.....her post on "Limbo" is just right on target. I have it bookmarked and go and read it sometimes (I know very weird....but It makes me feel better to hear someone else feel the same way I do)....by the way you should check out her blog Life As Lou, it's really real, interesting and super fun. Not to mention that she is a rocking scrapbooker!
Anyway....I have no curtains up, hardly anything on my walls....stuff is not arranged the way I want it..I need a new TV stand...all these things....but I cannot spend the money or the time because at the drop of a hat we will be moving.
We are up for orders..we leave beginning of June...it's MARCH and we have heard nothing......my husband is starting work ups again...and if I knew that we were for sure going to shore duty next and for sure staying here in San Diego, I would make my house work and it would be easier to deal with the coming and going of Derek if I knew that it was temporary...
We will probably buy a house (as I cannot stand the rental brown carpet anymore and the lady that screams 24/7 in Arabic at her kids that lives behind me...well, she just might make it until next week as I cannot stand her ruining a perfect Spring afternoon with her constant screaming anymore)and I will have curtains on EVERY window...and the right shaped rugs..and make my bedroom pretty...and get the odds and ends of the crap in the boxes in the garage organized...if I just knew that it wasn't a waste of time.
I need to figure out what I am doing with the rest of my life. Like, maybe a career....something that brings in a steady paycheck. So, do I go back to school, do I take some kind of job training, do I get a job...what to do...but I can't start anything until we know for sure where we will be.
I need some grounding in my life. I have been a gypsy for too long. I'm ready for a forever house. A house that is mine, a neighborhood that I invest myself into, friends that I can meet for coffee....a husband that comes home every night....seems so far away sometimes. Derek retires in 4 years. What he does next, we don't know...but for now, I'll just keep waiting...
Oh hey, a little sunshine for me...this is what I bought for my birthday...all for me...you know my thing about birds and how happy they make me. I bought it from Amy's Etsy shop called Bebe and Yaya. Her work is incredible..and I love her blog also!
8 months ago